Daily Report: Grady Little's Effect on the Cubs

by Asher B. Chancey

 

The effect of Grady Little on the Cubs was BEAUTIFULLY evident in today's game.

 

Todd Walker gets the start against the righty Jose Acevedo. He bats leadoff.

 

In the fourth inning, Matt Clement is having a rough go of it, though not a disaster. He's given up four runs in four innings. In the top of the fifth, Derrek Lee ends up on third with two out in a 4-1 game and the pitcher's spot due up. Getting the run would be great, but with two outs and the top of the order due up, its not crucial at this moment. But Dusty (Grady?) lifts Clemente for a pinch hitter after FOUR innings of work. The pinch hitter promptly pops out to end the inning. In the bottom of the inning, the Reds work the bases full and then Kent Mercker WALKS IN A RUN ON FOUR STRAIGHT PITCHES. Unbelievable.

 

At this point I should mention that the one run was scored when Todd Walker hit a double and two batters later Sosa brought him in. The rest of the lineup is stinking.

 

So, the top of the seventh rolls around, and Derrek Lee once again gets on base (HBP). Alex "Strikeout" Gonzalez lives up to his billing, and the catcher pops up, which brings us to the pitcher spot again. Obviously, this time you pinch hit. So, in comes Grudzielanek to pinch hit for the pitcher against the Reds' righty pitcher, and he gets a hit sending Lee to second. The Reds sub in a lefty reliever as Walker's spot comes up, and Dusty (Grady) promptly puts in a pinch hitter for Todd Walker. Now, having already USED our top pinch hitter, Todd Hollandsworth to bat for Clemente in the fifth, Dusty must bring in Ramon "offensive liability" Martinez to hit, and he promptly STRIKES OUT SWINGING. Its going to be a long year.

 

Isn't it great, though, that we get to watch the Cubs, the Grady Little-Todd Walker drama, and Derrek Lee all on the same team this year?!