One of our favorite pastimes at BaseballEvolution.com is coming up with funny nicknames for baseball players. Don't ask us why, we just do it. Here is a collection of such names we've come up with over the years:

Antonio Alfonseca = "Antonio All-Fat Seca"
Edgardo Alfonzo = "2000"
Brad Ausmus = "Rad" or "Bossmus"
Don Baylor = "Big Dumb Baylor" or "Punching Bag Baylor"
Matt Belisle="Matt Be-lizzle, the Starting Pizzle, for the Cincinnati Rizzle"
Dave Borkowski="The Other White Meat"
Joe Borowski = "JoBo"
Ben Broussard= "Beaumont Ben Broussard"
Emil Brown = "Back-to-Back Brown"
Brian Bruney = "The Goonie"
Fausto Carmona = "C.C. Fausto"
Giovanni Carrera = "G-Ovanni C-Arrera"
Sean Casey ="Assistant GM"
Todd Coffey = "The Anti Lee Smith"
Ned Colletti = "Neddie Coletti"
Chris Davis = "Misery" (see Mark Reynolds)
Gookie Dawkins = "Traaaaviiis!"
Matt Diaz = "Walker Diaz"
L. Dinardo = "The Leader"
Gregg Dobbs = "Mistadobalina"
Jason Dubois = "J-Dub"
Adam Dunn = "The Dunner" or "Wallop"
Morgan Ensberg = "Morgan Bensberg"
Pedro Feliz = "The Secret Weapon"
Chone Figgins = "Cah-Honie"
Bartolome Fortunato = "The Avatar"
Cliff Floyd = "Glass Floyd"
Tyrell Godwin = "Thanks Be"
Curtis Granderson ="G.R. Anderson"
Khalil Greene = "Amphetamine"
Ken Griffey Jr. = "Ken Griffey Overrated" or "Ken Griffey Jogger"
Ozzie Guillen = "The Great Communicator"
Jerry Hairston Jr. = "JHJ"
Brendan Harris = "Five-Three"
Orlando Hernandez = "El Delicate"
Chris Jakubauskas = "Labrynth"
Jason Johnson = "The Turbo Tanker"
Reed Johnson = "Fire"
Jacque Jones = "Jacque Junk" or "Joke Jones"
Jeff Kent = "Jeff Can't"
Dan Kolb = "Mazzonesbane"
Brad Lidge = "Brad Blidge"
Corey Lidle = "The Clog"
Jesse Litsch = "Son of a Litcsh"
Paul LoDuca = "Heart" (see Guillermo Mota)
James Loney = "J-Lo"
Braden Looper = "The Producer"
Jose Macias = "Hack Macias" or "Ho Mack"
Nick Markakis = "General Markack"
Carlos Marmol = "Mar-Man"
Pedro Martinez = "The Notable Exception"
Ryan Masdson = "Mad Max"
Gary Matthews, Jr. = "GMJ"
Juan Melo = "Lazy Bones"
Kent Mercker = "The Myrka" or "Mer-Man"
Guillermo Mota = "Soul" (see Paul LoDuca)
Xavier Nady= "Mr. April"
Tomokazu Okha = "TKO"
Roy Oswalt = "Dead Red"
Corey Patterson = "Tools" or "Helicopter"
Jhonny Peralta = "Jah-Honny"
Neifi Perez = "Giantsbane"
Scott Podsednik = "Scott Poh-suh-dink"
Mark Reynolds = "Company" (see Chris Davis)
Luis Rivas = "Rivas, to the dance floor, please!"
Richie Sexson = "Actaeon"
Ben Sheets = "Hospital Sheets"
Sammy Sosa = "Sammy Cepeda"
Matt Stairs = "Fat Stairs"
B.J. Surhoff = "B.J. Showoff"
Nick Swisher = "Nicky Swish"
Taylor Tankersley = "Turbo"
Terry Tiffee = "Tuffy"
Brandon Watson = "On Top"
Kip Wells = "Kip unWells"
Ty Wigginton = "Twiggi"
Jamey Wright = "The Terrible Machine"
Carlos Zambrano = "Great Zambrano" or "Poker-face"
Victor Zambrano = "Irony" or "Lessor Zambrano"
Ryan Zimmerman = "Zim-Zim-Zim" or "The Professional Hitter"
 
Questions about the origins of these nicknames? Email us.
See also our Historical Nicknames and our Ballpark Food Nicknames.