One of our favorite pastimes at BaseballEvolution.com is coming up with funny nicknames for baseball players. Don't ask us why, we just do it. Here is a collection of such names we've come up with over the years:

Antonio Alfonseca = "Antonio All-Fat Seca"

Edgardo Alfonzo = "2000"

Brad Ausmus = "Rad" or "Bossmus"

Don Baylor = "Big Dumb Baylor" or "Punching Bag Baylor"

Matt Belisle="Matt Be-lizzle, the Starting Pizzle, for the Cincinnati Rizzle"

Dave Borkowski="The Other White Meat"

Joe Borowski = "JoBo"

Ben Broussard= "Beaumont Ben Broussard"

Emil Brown = "Back-to-Back Brown"

Brian Bruney = "The Goonie"

Fausto Carmona = "C.C. Fausto"

Giovanni Carrera = "G-Ovanni C-Arrera"

Sean Casey ="Assistant GM"

Todd Coffey = "The Anti Lee Smith"

Ned Colletti = "Neddie Coletti"

Chris Davis = "Misery" (see Mark Reynolds)

Gookie Dawkins = "Traaaaviiis!"

Matt Diaz = "Walker Diaz"

L. Dinardo = "The Leader"

Gregg Dobbs = "Mistadobalina"

Jason Dubois = "J-Dub"

Adam Dunn = "The Dunner" or "Wallop"

Morgan Ensberg = "Morgan Bensberg"

Pedro Feliz = "The Secret Weapon"

Chone Figgins = "Cah-Honie"

Bartolome Fortunato = "The Avatar"

Cliff Floyd = "Glass Floyd"

Tyrell Godwin = "Thanks Be"

Curtis Granderson ="G.R. Anderson"

Khalil Greene = "Amphetamine"

Ken Griffey Jr. = "Ken Griffey Overrated" or "Ken Griffey Jogger"

Ozzie Guillen = "The Great Communicator"

Jerry Hairston Jr. = "JHJ"

Brendan Harris = "Five-Three"

Orlando Hernandez = "El Delicate"

Chris Jakubauskas = "Labrynth"

Jason Johnson = "The Turbo Tanker"

Reed Johnson = "Fire"

Jacque Jones = "Jacque Junk" or "Joke Jones"

Jeff Kent = "Jeff Can't"

Dan Kolb = "Mazzonesbane"

Brad Lidge = "Brad Blidge"

Corey Lidle = "The Clog"

Jesse Litsch = "Son of a Litcsh"

Paul LoDuca = "Heart" (see Guillermo Mota)

James Loney = "J-Lo"

Braden Looper = "The Producer"

Jose Macias = "Hack Macias" or "Ho Mack"

Nick Markakis = "General Markack"

Carlos Marmol = "Mar-Man"

Pedro Martinez = "The Notable Exception"

Ryan Masdson = "Mad Max"

Gary Matthews, Jr. = "GMJ"

Juan Melo = "Lazy Bones"

Kent Mercker = "The Myrka" or "Mer-Man"

Guillermo Mota = "Soul" (see Paul LoDuca)

Xavier Nady= "Mr. April"

Tomokazu Okha = "TKO"

Roy Oswalt = "Dead Red"

Corey Patterson = "Tools" or "Helicopter"

Jhonny Peralta = "Jah-Honny"

Neifi Perez = "Giantsbane"

Scott Podsednik = "Scott Poh-suh-dink"

Mark Reynolds = "Company" (see Chris Davis)

Luis Rivas = "Rivas, to the dance floor, please!"

Richie Sexson = "Actaeon"

Ben Sheets = "Hospital Sheets"

Sammy Sosa = "Sammy Cepeda"

Matt Stairs = "Fat Stairs"

B.J. Surhoff = "B.J. Showoff"

Nick Swisher = "Nicky Swish"

Taylor Tankersley = "Turbo"

Terry Tiffee = "Tuffy"

Brandon Watson = "On Top"

Kip Wells = "Kip unWells"

Ty Wigginton = "Twiggi"

Jamey Wright = "The Terrible Machine"

Carlos Zambrano = "Great Zambrano" or "Poker-face"

Victor Zambrano = "Irony" or "Lessor Zambrano"

Ryan Zimmerman = "Zim-Zim-Zim" or "The Professional Hitter"

 
Questions about the origins of these nicknames? Email us.
See also our Historical Nicknames and our Ballpark Food Nicknames.