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The Emil Brown Collection of Dubious Accomplishment Accolades
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The Emil Brown Collection of Dubious Accomplishment Accolades
by Asher B. Chancey,
November 26, 2007

A few months ago, we stumbled upon Emil Brown's page. We here at were tickled Royal Blue at the sentiment of the eager-beaver Royals fan who wrote "Congrats to Emil Brown on his back to back 150 hit seasons!" That things had gone so poorly for the Royals that such an accomplishment merited mentioning, much less congratulations, struck us as amazing.

In fact, we briefly entertained the possibility that the poster was being sarcastic.

Anyway, I have decided to draw inspiration from the congratulations to Emil for his rather mundane accomplishment. I have created the . . .

First Annual Emil Brown Collection of Dubious Accomplishment Accolades.

Hey, Alex Gordon, good job collecting both 60 runs AND RBI this season!

A hearty "Way to Go" to Jhonny Peralta for getting his OPS back up to the league average in 2007!

Atta boy, Sammy Sosa, for finishing the season with an average over .250 and an on-base percentage over .300.

Roger Clemens, you're my dog for finishing with a .500 winning percentage, an ERA just over league average, and a better than 2:1 K/BB ratio in 18 starts in your return to the Yankees.

Solids all around to Brandon Inge for back-to-back seasons with an OBP over .310.

Give it up to Adrian Beltre for back-to-back 25 homerun seasons.

Well done, Felix Hernandez, on back-to-back 190 inning seasons.

Good shot, Miguel Tejada, for grounding into less than 24 double plays for the first time since 2003.

Adam Dunn, you are my hero for striking out less than 170 times in a full season for the first time in your career, while getting your batting average above .250 for the first time in three seasons.

Congrats to Ken Griffey Jr. for topping 500 at bats for the second time this decade.

Holla for Joe Borowski for not letting his 5.07 ERA stand in the way of getting 45 saves this season.

Shout out to Steve Traschel for striking out more than he walked once he was traded from the Orioles to the Cubs.

You rock my world, Daniel Cabrera, for only walking 108 batters in 204.1 innings after walking 104 in only 148.0 innings in 2006.

Excellent work, Mark Buehrle, for getting your strikeout total back up over 100 this season.

Well done, Stephen Drew, for joining the 60 runs, 60 RBI, 60 walks club in 150 games with the D'Backs.

Hip-Hip-Hooray to Ryan Howard for not striking out 200 times in 144 games.

Clap along with me for Matt Holliday for hitting 20 plus homeruns at home for the second straight year.

Secret salutations to Pedro Feliz for reaching the 20-home run mark for the fourth straight season

We're all proud of Rangers' ace Kevin Milwood for his team-leading 10 wins and 5.16 ERA.

Good eye, Miguel Olivo. Your 14 walks ranks as your highest total since 2004.

Never mind that 6.80 ERA and 1.96 WHIP, Mike MacDougal. Your 19 holds make you a legend!

Big props to David Weathers for leading the Reds in saves for the third consecutive season.

And last but not least . . .

Congrats to Emil Brown for his team-leading 62 RBI.

Questions? Concerns? Comments? Asher lives in Philadelphia, PA, and can be reached at